The gullible member of the public is sent a credit card, which allows withdrawal of money up to a certain limit, albeit a small sum, from a bank account.
It's An Old Age After All...
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering
things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're
physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down
to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember
it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it..'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should
write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that,
write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can
remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped
cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife
a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate
for a moment. 'Where's my toast?'
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and
after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night
we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great,
I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
'What is the name of that flower you give to someone
you love? You know, he one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that
restaurant we went to last night?'
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse,
I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting
on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he
didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Do I know her?'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer!'
A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing
aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down
the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got
a heart murmur; be careful.'
And just one more. . .
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now, before you 'forget', send them on to some
other folks you know who could use a good laugh!!
We often throw all our fresh foods into the fridge to prevent
it from going bad. But should all food be kept refrigerated?
Definitely not. Here are 10 common foods you should avoid
from cooling too much, or you'll destroy the taste and ruin
The fridge does keep tomatoes fresh, but it does this
by stopping the process of ripeness. When this process
is stopped, the tomato loses its flavor. In addition to
the loss of flavor, the refrigerator also changes the
texture of the tomato, making it powdery or floury.
Tomatoes are best kept out of cooling, in a basket
When one keeps fresh basil in the refrigeration, it
withers very quickly, but before it withers al
l the way and becomes unusable, it absorbs the
taste of the foods kept close to it. The best way
to keep fresh basil it outside the fridge, in a glass
of fresh water, just like flowers.
The cold of the fridge turns the starch in the potato
into sugar in a faster pace, and we're left with a
sweet, yet grainy potato. Keep your potatoes in
a sealed sack, in a cool but not cold place.
They should be covered, because being
exposed to sunlight makes them grow 'eyes'.
The damp in the fridge makes the onion soft and
moldy. The best way to keep onions is in a cool
and dry place, outside the fridge. Green onions
can be kept in the fridge because of their
high % of water content. Be sure not to keep
onions next to the potatoes, because it'll make
them both go bad faster.
If you're waiting for the avocado to ripen, you
should never put it in the fridge. A refrigerator
does well by the avocado, but only if it has
already ripened, and you want to prevent it from
When we keep garlic in the refrigerator, it begins
to shoot out and grow green stalks. Also, it'll get
a moldy, sticky texture. It is best to keep garlic in
a dry, cool place.
When it comes to bread, there are a number of
options. If this is sliced bread you are going to
use within a few days, it can be kept in the fridge
When you keep bread for longer, the fridge will
make it dry out faster, and so it's best to keep it
somewhere closed off, but not in the refrigerator.
If you only rarely eat the bread, it can even be kept
in the freezer.
8. Olive Oil
Olive oil should be kept somewhere dark and cool,
but when put in refrigeration, it freezes and becomes
alike to butter. That said, you can thaw it again to its
Storing coffee in the fridge makes it quickly lose
its flavor and even absorb the flavor of foods
stored near it. Coffee should be kept somewhere
dark, somewhere cool. However, if you want to
keep a large amount of coffee at home, you can
keep in the depths of the freezer - not near the door.
One of the most fascinating facts about honey is
that it never goes bad. You can eat honey from
a thousand years ago, and it'll still be good. There
is no reason to keep honey in the fridge and it
should be avoided since the cold will make
it a solid and it's always better kept at room